Over anxious clients

Today I had an inspection of a large home in Central Rhode Island. It was a rather pretty home. The clients arrived shortly after me and were all smiles. The Gentleman was....well he was visibly excited. As I began to go over what I had done so far and get to know them, the Gentleman began to ask random questions about several different things, all of which I had not looked at yet. I explained that we have a system of inspection that we follow and this is the best way to ensure a thorough evaluation of the home. He was struggling to contain himself. His Wife was very relaxed and calm. We walked around the exterior of the home and with no real issues there, I suggested we go inside. The gentleman went to his car and began gathering some fire wood and newspaper. I was now struggling to contain myself. He saw my face. He asked if we could light a fire in the fireplace. I said No, we can not! I thought he was going to POP. I explained that we can not light a fire in the fireplace, and if we did, We would probably be asked to leave. His concern was that the smoke would not draft well. His Fireplace at home does not draft well. I explained the criteria needed for a fireplace to draft well. The Chimney needs to be tall enough to stand clear of any portion of the house and have a 10ft. horizontal clearance from any object. This chimney clearly had the reach needed. His did not. He took the Fire wood in, and asked if he could make a fire anyway. The answer was NO ! Just as I had expected. His wife was still calm. A pillar of support. My wife would be giving me the evil eye about now. I don't think I would have even gotten the Logs out of the car. As we began inside the house The gentleman gave his calm, supportive, wife a list of chores to do while we were there. Her job was to open and close every window, to turn on the faucets, and Try the light switches and doors. Great, I have a trainee. I asked him if he realized that we do all of that. He was puzzled. I don't think he expected that. He did not tell his wife. She went to work. I heard her. The gentleman and I proceeded through the house and in the basement. He was running in circles. I told him I was going to turn up the heat, now that I had determined the furnace was safe to run. This is my system. Before I could go near the steps to turn the thermostats up, The gentleman was shouting to his wife to go turn up all the thermostats. All 5. And she did. All 5. I think I like his wife. I wonder if she wants a job. She could probably use the rest. The rest of the inspection went well. The wife got to relax. When we left, the gentleman was asked to take his firewood with him. He did. I think I have met the most patient wife in the world, or at least the second most patient. My wife has to be near the top.